When Medical Bills Become a Full-Time Job (and What I’m Doing Differently This Year)

Last year, our family overpaid more than $4,000 in medical bills.

We eventually received a refund at the end of the year but anyone who manages a household budget knows that $4,000 is not a small amount to have floating in the system. That money could have helped with therapies, groceries, savings, or just a little breathing room along the way.

In the same year, I was also sent to collections for a $50 healthcare bill. I thought it was on autopay. It was, but the card on file was our HSA, and it had run out. I missed the notice.

That contrast still makes my stomach drop. Thousands overpaid on one end, a small bill triggering collections on the other.

We have three kids. Two have disabilities, and one of those children has medical complexities. Appointments, specialists, labs, therapies, prescriptions. It adds up quickly. And not just financially. The paperwork, portals, explanation of benefits (EOBs), deductibles, and billing statements can feel endless.

Keeping track of it all can honestly feel like a part-time or full-time job.

And if you’ve ever felt embarrassed, overwhelmed, or frustrated by medical billing, I want to say this clearly: you are not failing. The system is complicated, fragmented, and not designed with families like ours in mind.

The Hidden Cost of Medical Care: Tracking It

Most families focus on whether a service is covered and what the copay is. But that’s only part of the picture.

What often gets missed is:

• Whether the provider billed insurance correctly
• Whether insurance processed the claim correctly
• Whether the amount you paid actually matched your EOB
• Whether a bill was already paid through an HSA, FSA, or autopayment
• Whether you’ve hit your deductible or out-of-pocket maximum

When you’re juggling multiple children, multiple providers, and multiple insurance explanations, it’s easy for things to slip through the cracks, even when you’re doing your best.

In our case, that’s exactly what happened.

My Personal Goal This Year

This year, one of my personal goals is simple but not necessarily easy:
I want to stay more on top of our EOBs, deductibles, and medical bills paid.

Not perfectly. Just more intentionally.

I don’t want to discover at the end of the year that we’ve overpaid thousands of dollars again. And I don’t want another surprise collections notice over a small balance I didn’t realize was unpaid.

The Tool That’s Helping Me

To support this goal, I created a fairly simple medical expenses tracker in excel.

Nothing fancy. No complex formulas. Just a place to:

• List appointments and dates of service
• Track what was billed
• Note what insurance paid
• Compare that to the EOB
• Record what we actually paid and when
• Flag anything that doesn’t match

Having everything in one place has already made a difference. When a bill comes in, I’m not trying to piece together information from multiple portals, emails, and statements. I can quickly see whether it lines up or whether it’s something I need to question.

And questioning bills matters more than many families realize. Errors happen. Duplicate charges happen. Misapplied payments happen. Overpayments happen.

But you can’t catch what you can’t see.

A Gentle Reminder for Families

If you’re a parent or caregiver navigating disability-related care, here’s your reminder:

You are managing a system that was not built for simplicity or clarity. The fact that it feels overwhelming does not mean you’re doing something wrong.

Small steps, like reviewing EOBs, keeping a basic tracker, or checking in on autopayments, can protect your family financially over time, even if you can’t do it all perfectly.

At CaringTide, we believe support isn’t just about school systems, benefits, or long-term planning. It’s also about the day-to-day realities families face. The ones that quietly drain time, energy, and resources.

If staying on top of medical expenses feels heavy, you’re not alone. And if this is the year you decide to try one small change to make it feel more manageable, that’s enough.

Progress, not perfection.